What is Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)?
- Caleb Robertson
- Jan 29
- 5 min read
Most of us encounter challenges in life that leave us feeling stuck, stressed, or unsure how to move forward. While therapy is a powerful resource for navigating these moments, understanding different counseling approaches can benefit everyone regardless of their enrollment in therapy.
Disclaimer
It’s important to note that mental health counseling should always be conducted
by trained professionals. While understanding counseling theories can enhance your ability to support yourself or others in a general sense, it’s not a substitute for professional care. If you or someone else is experiencing significant distress, the best course of action (if emergency services aren't needed) is to seek help from a licensed counselor or therapist.
Your role as a friend, mentor, or loved one is to provide empathy and encouragement, not to diagnose or treat mental health conditions.
What Is DBT?
Most people associate therapy with talking things out, gaining insight, and working through emotions. While that’s certainly part of the process, some therapeutic approaches focus on building real-life skills to handle challenges more effectively. One of the most impactful of these is Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT).
If you've ever struggled with overwhelming emotions, impulsive reactions, or difficulty maintaining relationships, DBT offers concrete strategies to help. Whether you're considering therapy, supporting a loved one, or simply looking for new ways to navigate life’s ups and downs, understanding some of DBT's concepts can be a game-changer.
A Quick Overview of DBT
DBT was developed in the late 1980s by psychologist Dr. Marsha Linehan while working with patients diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD). She found that traditional therapy often failed to help people struggling with intense emotional swings, impulsivity, and self-destructive behaviors.
So, she took a new approach—one that combined acceptance and change. Instead of pushing people to “fix” themselves, DBT helps them balance self-acceptance (you are doing the best you can) with personal growth (you can learn new ways to cope). Over time, DBT has been adapted to help with a wide range of challenges, including anxiety, depression, trauma, and emotional dysregulation.
At its core, DBT teaches practical skills for handling emotions, navigating relationships, and staying present in the moment.
The Three Core Pillars of DBT
While DBT covers a lot of ground, we can uncover a core built around three essential principles:
1. Mindfulness: Staying Present Without Judgment
Mindfulness is the foundation of DBT. It’s about being fully aware of the present moment—without getting stuck in worries about the past or anxieties about the future.
Why It Matters: When we’re mindful, we can respond to situations thoughtfully rather than reacting impulsively.
Example: Instead of spiraling after an argument, mindfulness helps you pause, acknowledge your feelings, and decide how to respond in a way that aligns with your values.
2. Distress Tolerance: Learning to Ride the Waves of Emotion
Life is unpredictable. Stressful situations, conflicts, and disappointments are inevitable. DBT teaches distress tolerance skills to help people survive emotional storms without making things worse.
Why It Matters: Instead of resorting to unhealthy coping mechanisms (like avoidance, aggression, or numbing out), distress tolerance helps you get through difficult moments with self-respect intact.
Example: You’re feeling overwhelmed at work. Instead of shutting down or lashing out, you use deep breathing, grounding techniques, or self-soothing strategies to ride out the distress.
3. Emotional Regulation: Managing Feelings Instead of Letting Them Control You
Emotional regulation teaches people how to identify, understand, and influence their emotions in a healthy way.
Why It Matters: By learning to manage emotions effectively, people can reduce emotional suffering, improve relationships, and make decisions based on logic and values, rather than just feelings.
Example: Instead of impulsively texting something you’ll regret, emotional regulation helps you pause, recognize what triggered your feelings, and choose a response that aligns with your long-term goals.
Strengths and Limitations of DBT
Like any therapeutic approach, DBT isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution. Here’s a balanced look at its strengths and limitations.
Strengths of DBT
✔ Evidence-Based: Research shows DBT is highly effective for emotional dysregulation, self-harm, and relationship difficulties.
✔ Skill-Oriented: It provides practical, real-world tools to help people handle stress, emotions, and relationships.
✔ Balance of Acceptance & Change: Unlike therapies that focus only on “fixing” behaviors, DBT emphasizes self-compassion while encouraging growth.
Limitations of DBT
✖ Requires Commitment: a heavy focus on DBT often involves group sessions, individual therapy, and homework—which may feel overwhelming for some.
✖ Not Ideal for All Mental Health Concerns: While helpful for many, DBT isn’t the primary treatment for conditions like severe psychosis or specific phobias.
✖ Can Feel Structured or Rigid: Some people find the structured approach too formulaic compared to more open-ended therapies.
A Practical Example: Applying DBT to Daily Life
Imagine this: You’re stuck in traffic, running late for an important meeting. Your heart races, frustration builds, and you start imagining worst-case scenarios (They’ll think I’m irresponsible! My whole day, maybe my whole career, is ruined!).
Here’s how DBT could help:
Mindfulness: You take a deep breath and shift focus to the present. Instead of obsessing over the future, you notice your hands on the steering wheel and the sound of the engine. This grounds you.
Distress Tolerance: You remind yourself, This is frustrating, but I can handle it. Maybe you turn on calming music or do a quick breathing exercise to keep your emotions in check.
Emotional Regulation: Instead of letting anger take over, you recognize that traffic is out of your control, but your response isn’t. You decide to use the time to mentally prepare for your meeting, listen to an uplifting podcast, or simply accept the situation with patience.
By applying DBT skills, a stressful moment that could have ruined your entire day becomes one manageable part of it.
Final Thoughts: DBT is for Everyone
While professional work should be left to professionals, you don’t need a formal diagnosis or a therapist’s referral to start using DBT concepts. Anyone can benefit from learning how to navigate emotions, manage stress, and communicate more effectively.
If you’re struggling with overwhelming emotions or impulsive reactions, consider giving DBT a closer look. Whether through therapy, books, or online resources, these skills can empower you to handle life’s challenges with greater confidence and clarity.
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Disclaimer:
These thoughts are presented with curiosity, wonder, and a sense of discovery.
There is so much scholarly material around religion, history, sociology, and psychology (realms I spend much of my time in). While that is immensely valuable and should be consulted when lives are at stake, I'd never produce anything if I required myself to scour these depths before voicing my thoughts which I believe to contain value and worth.
As such, it would not surprise me if my conclusions change in the future. And I hope it doesn't surprise you. That change of mind could come tomorrow, or it could come years from now. Curiosity isn't concrete. Trying to make it so robs it of its strength and beauty. As you read, I hope you will remember this - on my behalf and on yours.
“I have found that when another person has been willing to tell me something of his inner directions this has been of value to me, if only in sharpening my realization that my directions are different.”
Dr. Carl Rogers
Additionally, this post is not a substitute for psychotherapy or professional advice. If you are experiencing emotional distress or seeking personalized guidance, please consult a licensed mental health professional or other qualified expert.
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